Cyndi Donelan
I am one of the 'two loving parents,' referenced by Pam Ellis in her
attempt to defend herself in 'Schools can't solve parenting problems'
(March 13).
We are 'earning an adequate living, allowing us to provide our children
with an environment rich in learning experiences, able to help our
children with their homework, eating dinner as a family and discussing
the events of the day.'
We two parents are not 'well-educated,' since we both had to drop out of
college. When I was a single parent, I was not earning an adequate living
and sometimes not available to eat dinner with my family.
Our daughter, however, is a senior at U.C. Berkeley and graduates this
year with her first major, next year with her second. On her resume, I
note she continues to be on the Deans List, belongs to the Prytanean
Honor Society, received two scholarships and an Honors Extraordinary
Award in the Social Sciences Division at community college, where she
also got a Burch Scholarship Award for achievement in U.S. History.
In addition, she did so much more, ranging from feeding the homeless to
activism for political groups.
Our family does not fit Ellis' criteria and yet my daughter has succeeded
at much in her young life.
She is the child of ours who clearly remembers the days of single
parenthood and, in fact, attended schools through the fifth grade in an
extremely depressed area that included non-English-speaking children and
very low-income Indian children living on federal land.
Statistics and studies can be dangerous. Several years ago, I realized
many studies conflict with others. What one study 'proved' another would
'disprove,' although they were all well supported and included statistics
buoying their respective positions.
I learned that 'proof' is mercurial. It would be wise for Ellis, as a
representative with the fate of thousands of children in her hands, to
also become selective about supporting and adopting as truth any studies'
conclusions.
The greatest danger in blindly following this so-called proof is the
limitations it places on our understanding of situations, and the
distilling of complex lives into simplistic five-second, one-line sound
bites.
I am proud of my daughter, and I know I also will be of her five younger
siblings. But, I am much prouder of her two friends at Berkeley who
overcame the great difficulties of being non-English-speaking immigrants
in an environment not supportive or understanding of the great
difficulties their families encountered.
