I rarely read the columns of the News-Press and I never write letters,
but the heading on your column of Wednesday, Nov. 15, piqued my curiosity
and it has percolated in me ever since.
I guess from your less-than-flattering description, I would be a
member of your "society of fancy suburban ladies." However, I do not
consider myself particularly "fancy" or "belonging to a secret society,"
although I am a member of the Episcopal Church, a life member of the PTA,
belong to the American Assn. of Retired Persons, AAA and Kaiser
Permanente. Do any of these count?
I do not drive a Suburban but if I still needed a car that size, I
would have one and I don't think I would consult anyone on my color
choice. If I go to Nordstrom, I never use valet parking -- I didn't even
know they had that service. I do confess to lunching at the Black Cow on
occasion, however I think the City Hall has great hamburgers. I will
never go to a Denny's, if I can help it, because I think the food is
lousy and their record on cleanliness is doubtful... and I admit that I
enjoy a coffee latte or one of those delightful frozen things once in a
while at Starbucks.
When my children were young and living at home, I took them to
museums, gave unique transportation opportunities, and even threw in the
theater from time to time -- I also wanted them to understand what a
wonderful and unique world they lived in and taught them to exercise
their gifts to make it a better place than they found it. Since they are
now adults, raising children of their own, I no longer have the
responsibility of their social enrichment ... but I do try to challenge
my grandchildren as I am permitted.
It seems to me that you made a harsh judgment about some women based
on what appears to be casual observance and very little else. The FSLs
(as you called them) that I know are hardly "poor" or "insipid," but they
are definitely "women." They may or may not be "professionals." They are
usually "mom's" but because of circumstances or a hard working husband.
They are freed from having to earn a living, which allows them time to
volunteer themselves in myriad ways to the benefit of the community. We
are the women aiding in your child's classroom. We are the women who
drive for field trips. We are the women who see to it that music
appreciation is still available in the schools. We are the women who
raise scholarship money. We are the women who volunteer at the hospital,
work in the hospice program, pregnancy health clinics, who make food for
the homeless, work at food banks, support with our time and finances
facilities like Elizabeth House, Descanso Gardens and Harumbe House. I
could go on, but you get my drift.
I agree with your friend, Jane, you are picking on us. You are being
judgmental and critical and more than a little self-righteous. You don't
have to wait for your kid to grow up to be your guide to the
anthropological secrets of the FSLs. Move a little closer now, you might
even like us.
MONICA GUNN
Montrose
