Of course, to build my little castle and fit it on the lot, it will need to be five stories high. I predict that inconsiderate, narrow-minded neighbors will vociferously oppose this, as will, probably, some City Council members. Let me tell you right up front that if I don't get my way, I will vilify all those who publicly oppose my dream castle and I will mount a recall campaign against any City Council member who votes against it. I will also sue the city for discrimination because I am probably now an ethnic minority and I will also instigate a "taking" suit against the city for not allowing me to do anything I darn well want to with my property. If I get too much flak about this, I'll build a 10-story house.
Now that that is settled, I can start construction on my Greco-Roman-Transylvanian castle with a plethora of arches, columns and tasteless décor. Thankfully, it should start a trend of obliterating all those boring little archaic California Ranch-style homes that clutter the neighborhood. I can hardly wait to move in so I can demonstrate that I have arrived, enjoy the unique charm of the Woodlands and have cheery welcome tea and crumpets with the new neighbors.
