COMMUNITY COMMENTARY:Parents must be responsible for their teens

Parents who work very hard to provide and guide their teenagers to become successful, happy and productive know that parenting is very challenging and taxing. As a former high school administrator, I have seen many a mom and dad beam with pride at their teen's success and graduation against challenging and tempting odds. And I have seen the pain and sorrow of failure on the faces of parents and students. Frankly, I much prefer dealing with the first; but as a professional educator, my commitment is to the latter.

Statistics show that teens continue to engage in out-of-wedlock sex, juvenile delinquency, gang activity, drug use and other behaviors such as violence, poor achievement, lack of motivation, truancy and separation from school (dropping out) without graduation. Dismal as the picture may appear, however, most teen problems are neither hopeless nor incurable. A major reason why teen problems appear to be getting worse is because some parents and adults allow them to get worse by closing their eyes, mouths and ears. Adults can do something to stop this tragic cycle of loss and failure if they choose to become proactive, take a stand, stick to basic expectations, values, ideals and consequences.

Let me add that I am not writing about the vast majority of teens, but about the minority that tarnish the image of youth and sap the resources of schools and society. The overwhelming majority of teens are healthy, wholesome, normal, bright and a joy to know. They are respectful, motivated, honest, follow rules, have a sense of direction and are on track to become happy and productive adults.

As for the minority of students in question, parents and adults have a challenging responsibility to maintain hope and to demand that teens uphold acceptable behavior, personal responsibility and social values. Teens that choose to violate acceptable rules of conduct and behavior should receive appropriate guidance and discipline. Teens should be dealt with in a firm, understanding, respectful and compassionate manner. The following suggestions are neither exhaustive nor complete, but they may serve as a starting point for parents.

To deal with teens, parents need to have hope and a firm but positive attitude. Hope means never give up. Unless hope is alive and well, hopelessness takes over and teen problems increase and become permanent. Hope stimulates, motivates, uplifts the soul, opens communication, surmounts failure and gives one power and strength.