We found a caterer in Montrose that was very reasonable and whose recipe for chicken is to die for. We found an outstanding baker in Eagle Rock, got a colleague who is a professional photographer to take pictures — mostly we had a large group of friends who were very willing to pitch in and help. We went to the flower mart in L.A. and saved a ton of money doing all the arrangements ourselves. We decided on a backyard reception because it just seemed more intimate than those big impersonal banquet halls. Also a lot less expensive.
The cost, of course, was a constant factor. Weddings are a big business, especially when you hire someone to plan them for you. Our final costs were about one-third of what they would have been if we had hired one of those companies that specializes in wedding planning. My niece is getting married this week and has hired one of those companies. Her costs have already exceeded ours by three times, and it’s still adding up. She is, however, freed from making all the decisions and enduring the many headaches that come with preparing for the Big Day. It’s a trade-off, to be sure.
When my wife and I walked our daughter down the aisle, however, all of the months of hard work and hassles faded away completely. My Meredith, who has wrapped me around her little finger for most of her life, now had me beaming with joy and pride. How often I had thought about what this moment would be like, for both of my girls.
The other moment that will be locked in my heart forever is when we had the father-daughter dance. Years ago I made up a simple tune to accompany two little girls who did not want to go to bed and managed to stay awake a few moments longer by waltzing off to their bedroom in their nightgowns. I sent the tune to my brother, Dave, who is a musical genius, and he transformed it into something resembling a real waltz, and that is what we chose to do the dance to. I was afraid when the moment came I would start blubbering away at some point, but we both made it through and even managed a graceful flurry at the end.
As the reception was winding down, I asked my younger daughter, Stephanie, if this was how she envisioned her wedding. She didn’t hesitate in saying that she wanted something simpler, more intimate, less traditional, fewer people. I looked around the backyard and surveyed the scene that was months in the making, smiled and said, “Keep that thought.”
