Second String:

“This is my story, and I hope that at least I have better informed you of the athlete’s side of this controversial issue. It does not justify our actions, but as men behind the uniforms, we feel the same things as everyone else. ... I hope my story starts conversation and encourages others to talk about their past decisions.”

— Jim Parque in a letter to the Chicago Sun-Times

Steroids have quickly developed into one of the ugliest words in American culture these days.

They have fast become synonymous with cheating, low-character and villainy.

And just last week, Crescenta Valley High graduate Jim Parque, a former Major League Baseball pitcher, decided to unequivocally confirm his place in the public eye as a steroid-shooting scoundrel, a juiced-up fraud that’s a disgusting example for kids.

At least that’s how some, no doubt, will view him. There are some who view steroids as the ugliest of uglies and, therefore, those who have used them shall be colored as villains and only as such.

Myself? Like just about every indiscretion I hear tale of, I choose to try and put myself in the situation before judging, thinking about what I would have done.

And when I was about to enter my senior year of high school, I thought long and hard about steroids. I was pretty strong, pretty quick and, I thought, pretty good. But a 5-foot-9, 200-pound frame was not going to get me a starting spot on the Saugus High offensive line in the summer of 1996.

But maybe, just maybe, if I had a little something extra I’d find myself in the starting lineup — if you’re on the edge of your seat as to how it all ends, just take a look at the title of this forum as a hint.

There were pills I was going to have to take and injections that would be administered by a friend of a friend. There was cycling on and cycling off. There was a lot of cost, but a lot of payback.

In the end, I was too worried and too scared of who I would become. With a bad temper already in my back pocket, I wondered about “roid rage.” I wondered about all the physical side effects and I wondered about being a liar. It was through a colleague at an after-school job that I had been introduced to the idea. Nobody on my team was on the stuff, so who could I talk to, who could I go to?

Even still, I was never close to being a professional athlete, much less one striving to keep a job or stay at the top of the game.