The way I see it, we have two choices: We either start driving more consciously (which I know is asking a lot when you've got a cell phone in one hand and a low-fat vanilla latte in the other), or start procreating like bunnies to increase our population rate. If we can claim 250,001 people living in Glendale, we'd be ranked among larger cities, and our driving tendencies might not look so dismal. We might rank only fourth or fifth worst in the solar system. So let's get busy, people.
While I'm looking at things on the bright side, I've been asked by a few people on the street when I'm going to weigh in again on the scandal involving Advanced Development & Investment Inc. Evidently, my ability to vociferously rant and rave more than the average bear has drawn the attention of those outside my family. The answer is: I'm not going to say anything about ADI — at least not yet.
Yes, there are more than a handful of items that appear suspicious, what with subcontractor contributions and such. But I would like to remain hopeful that the majority of the wrongdoing was on the part of ADI and not with those working at City Hall.
I know what you're shouting: "Gary, you need to put down the martini shaker!"
Nevertheless, I'm going to believe, naive though it may be, that Glendale might walk away from all of this with our civic dignity intact. And if not, then I've got a few columns' worth of fodder in my future. But for now, I'm not going to start advancing any wild conspiracy theories — except when it comes to our Rose Parade float.
Who designed that thing? Who voted on that thing? Who built that thing? Courageous volunteer efforts aside, our float was by far the most lackluster entry in this year's parade. Sorry, but it's true.