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Unclassified Info: A cold in the midst of battle

February 21, 2011

Columnist’s Journal.

Tuesday, Feb.15, 7 a.m.: I wake up with a head full of goo and the telltale body aches that instantly let me know that a cold has invited itself into my body for a few days. I roll over with a nasal grunt, pull the covers over my head and extend my arm towards the nightstand searching for the phone in order to call in sick.

7:03: I am officially on sick leave. I shut my eyes and begin to contemplate how best to get back to sleep in order to facilitate the quick evacuation of Mr. Coldbug.


7:04: My eyes pop open as I realize that today is the day Ray Patel will be facing Rick Caruso in their battle to proclaim the tidbit of land currently occupied by Patel’s Golden Key Hotel. There will be no rest for me. I drag myself out of bed, shower, shave and begin a futile search for Sudafed.

7:45: No Sudafed. I decide my first stop will be to whatever purveyor of Sudafed I happen to run across before heading toward City Hall to personally witness and document the Redevelopment Battle Royale.

7:50: My car battery is dead. Perfect. Now I need Sudafed and a new battery before I do anything. I grab the keys to my girlfriend’s car and off I go. I develop a strategic plan to acquire coffee, Sudafed and the battery in the most efficient way possible. I must go to Eagle Rock to accomplish this since Pep Boys has long since vanished from Brand Boulevard.

8:20: I get coffee. I have failed at my first attempt to get Sudafed. The Walgreens was open, but evidently thanks to crystal meth addicts, you now need two forms of identification, permission from a past president and a note from home to purchase Sudafed. I curse all crystal meth addicts as I wipe the drip from my nostrils.

8:45: I have acquired a battery. I rush back home to install it. Fortunately, I did this in high school and the old skills comeback easily. In five minutes I am done.

9:00: I arrive at City Hall. The parking lot is full, so I park in Staples lot. Being the good citizen that I am, I go in and purchase pens and a notebook to justify my parking spot and hopefully avoid getting towed. I scamper across the street towards City Hall. I notice vans from most of the local news stations have already parked.

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