Unclassified Info: After all, which holiday is scarier?

What’s the best way to get your jack-o’-lantern kicked down the street on Halloween? Tell a group of kids that instead of handing out candy you’re giving out Bibles because you oppose pagan rituals and have decided instead to celebrate JesusWeen. Just hand out those little black books and watch that happy faced squash of yours go flying down the road.

For those of you who do not know, JesusWeen was invented to offer an alternative to those people who find the notion of trick-or-treating to be against their moral code. According to the official JesusWeen website, followers see Oct. 31 as a day to expect a gift of salvation and rethink receiving Jesus. Of course, I would agree if the gift of salvation is an Abba-Zaba.

Evidently, this happy little group believes God inspired them to encourage Christians to use this day as an opportunity to spread the Gospel. Really? God told you to use Halloween as the optimum day to hand out Bibles? What about more appropriate commercialized events in which to spread the word — like Christmas and Easter? Those are days when people are already more in the mood for the Holy Trinity and less hungry for Good ‘N Plenty.

It’s an uphill climb expecting kids to jump on the salvation bandwagon when all they want is a pillowcase full of sugary goodness. But don’t take my word for it, look at Facebook. About 4,300 people like JesusWeen while more than 665,000 people like the Swedish Fish candy page. I think that says a mouthful.

And about this philosophy you have that, “Evil prevails when good people do nothing.” I thought when good people did nothing, then nothing happened? When did not participating become the root of all evil?

Seriously, though, I’m fine with people not wanting to partake in Halloween. And it’s your absolute right to raise your kids with whatever myopic belief system you want. But if you don’t want to celebrate with the rest of us, simply turn out your lights. Our little pagan offspring will walk right past your house. Sure, you’ll get the occasional vampire who will knock on every door. But for the most part, you can expect our ghoulish little holiday of the dead to pass you right by.