First and foremost, be friends. In tough times, you'll need to return to the safety and security of that friendship to see you through. And in good times, well, in good times you get to be “friends with privileges.”
Marriage is about the long, slow journey; the moments, simple daily moments. Lively bedroom conversations that last deep into the night; long, speechless road trips through the desert. The time she threw out her back and was paralyzed with pain so you caught the first flight back from a business trip in Las Vegas. Or when you gave her bad directions and got her lost for hours in the dark woods late at night on that family vacation. These are the moments that make up a path stretching far into a future that you can't see or imagine.
Strive for trust and stability, not excitement and adventure. That's not to say you won't have the latter. You will. But adventure and excitement are the reward you get for first achieving trust and stability.
Marriage is about letting each other do the things that drive the other person crazy. Don't argue over the little things, like how she lets knives dry in the drying rack tips up; or how much you hate that old, worn out pair of pants he's owned for 15 years. When he tells you the same story for the 50th time, and each time it's gotten more fanciful, smile, nod and tell him what a great story it is. There are just some things men and women will never understand about each other.
