A Word, Please: Tips for fixing bad writing

September 14, 2012|By June Casagrande

Have you ever had this experience? You sit down to write something — an email, a marketing blurb for your business, a piece of fiction, whatever. You write exactly what you want to say.

Then you lean back, reread what you wrote and gasp in horror. All those clear, elegant ideas you believed were dancing across the page are unrecognizable, buried under a mess of poorly chosen words and poorly assembled thoughts.

It happens to me more than I care to admit. Sometimes, looking at the mush I left on a page makes me wonder whether I missed my calling as a construction worker.


But when the horror fades I remember that bad writing can come out of just about anyone — even good writers. It's what you do with it that matters. And over the years, I've learned some tricks for fixing bad prose.

One of the easiest ways to fix bad writing doesn't work all the time, but when it does, the result is almost miraculous: Look for adverbs to cut. Certain adverbs, especially ones ending in “ly”, sound good in our heads when we're writing. But often, they're dead weight.

Does “Pete was completely exhausted” tell us anything we couldn't have learned from “Pete was exhausted”? You could argue that it does, but that would put you at odds with most professional writers and editors, whose work shows a strong aversion to empty adverbs.

Instead, the consensus seems to be that unadorned verbs (“murder”) and adjectives (“fast”) are more powerful than dolled-up forms (“brutally murder,” “really, really, really fast”).

Of course, you couldn't just yank the adverbs out of a sentence like “He left quickly” or “Drive carefully.” That's why I recommend this adverb survival test: If an adverb adds information, it should probably stay. If it adds only emphasis, try taking it out.

State-of-mind verbs can cause the same problem. Compare “Joe decided he needed to get out of town, so he packed up and left” with “Joe packed up and left town.” Does the latter leave any doubt that Joe had made a decision? Was it really necessary to say he “needed” to leave town before saying that he left town? Perhaps. But, again, this is exactly the type of information professional writers leave out.

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